First, the fires…then the rains…up came the trauma

It wasn’t only my beloved mother’s tragic and gruesome death that haunts me from my years in The Palisades. When Mom was struggling to stay alive, I ran into my thoughts that were skewed while I was becoming increasingly unstable from watching her become emaciated, wasting away from the cruelty of cancer. Tragically, this loss was the final straw; my brain shut down because it couldn’t conceive or comprehend any more cruel twists of fate…in a place as stunningly glorious as The Palisades was on the outside pre fires.

On the inside, for the people who lived and loved in this blessed enclave over decades, there was some suffering that was so ugly and painful in contrast to where we were situated geographically.

I was at a tender age when my family left Las Vegas. Ironically, Vegas was a young city too, having only been founded in 1905 and incorporated as a city in 1911. It was a mere 77 years old when I left it for greener pastures, still finding its footing as a future metropolis. Maybe that’s why there was so much violence early days. Parents of my friends were killed for a myriad of reasons and some were only shot to survive another day much like my own father. A local physician, my childhood exploded into a million pieces when a deranged patient shot him in the gut. How lucky he was that the bullet exited out the side of his torso and aside from some organs that needed immediate repair, his scars remained mostly on the inside for few to see and for him to grapple with when alone and within the crevices of his own mind and tortured imagination.

I think my parents offered The Palisades as a sunny, beachside alternative to our real life. Our vacation property housed the hopes for my “reel” life; that is to say all the fantasies I harbored about becoming a filmmaker took root alongside the fabled Sunset Boulevard. Becoming a screenwriter made sense when so many of my Palisades friends’ parents actually had jobs in the industry. Everything seemed so plausible on celluloid here while everything in Las Vegas felt dependent on slot machines and the sound of endless coins falling into their corresponding slot machine trays. Kids in The Palisades were carefree sans make-up with sun kissed skin and a casual affect. They surfed and engaged in exotic activities like skim boarding with sand perpetually between their toes. Boys I knew wore velcro pants with shorts underneath literally so that they were consistently prepared to rip off their extra clothing in hopes of riding the next wave or embracing an impressive swell. And, in the time I was afforded along the ocean in 1988 (which meant some weekends and most holidays), I truly believed nothing could go wrong until it actually did.

I can still feel how cold I was within my body when I heard what happened to Teak Dyer. RIP to that angel who wasn’t afforded enough time on this earth to truly spread her wings and soar.

She was graduating from Pali High, Class of 1988. It was a late night filled with revelry. There was supposed to be constant and joyous graduation celebrations that would usher in a bright future for this promising young woman. The details have always been sketchy and the recent fires make it difficult for me to definitively remember what was fact versus fiction from the horrible event. What I do remember distinctly?

She was dropped off at the 15200 block of Sunset where I worked at Crown Books in my teens. It was a commercial building I’m not sure is still standing after January 7, 2025, although I think it is. Apparently, her car was parked there and nobody but her assailant really knows what happened next. Her body was recovered with three bullet holes in her fragile torso and that monster who ripped her family apart with such a senseless act of violence is still serving his sentence without the possibility of parole.

Events like these didn’t happen in The Palisades and the feeling of sadness and vulnerability enveloped me for many, many years. She was older than me and exemplified what I considered perfection in an upperclassmen dynamic. And as the years went on and the tragedies multiplied including the deaths of four classmates in a Halloween car crash October 1988 and the late River Phoenix’s collapse in front of The Viper Room that still haunts me as he had attended my Pali High graduation party a mere few years before.

All of the searing pain from these indelible memories was put away as I advanced in years while gaining sparks of wisdom in my field as a screenwriter. My mother’s untimely end derailed the solid path my Hollywood career was steered towards and The Writers Strike in 2023 made my comeback harder than I had anticipated it would be.

Thank God I found so much solace in my students and in teaching. And that’s where Meiyi came in.

She is from Beijing. She has a natural curiosity and a propensity for humor. She’s brave, she’s bold. She had never set foot in America in her entire young life, but decided to make her foray into our culture in a city where over 800 languages are spoken daily (New York City) to academically conquer the best program in America for education (Teachers College, Columbia University). She came to this country when a woman was running for president and stood a credible chance at winning, when her classmates were pitching tents outside on campus and living in protest for wars abroad. She embraced it all without judgement and even when her family was reticent about her staying longer at Columbia in pursuit of her PhD, she stopped in The Palisades en route back to Beijing so that we could work on her PhD application essays face to face. And surprisingly, arriving laden with gifts and good cheer a couple of weeks ago, Meiyi marveled when I asked her what she thought of my beloved town post fires. Meiyi innocently offered that she forgot to clock the damage because all she could see was the beauty of the surroundings which she embraced wholeheartedly the entire time she was here.

This spirit reminds me of my own mother and our Palisades angel, Teak Dyer, who has been memorialized with a fellowship in her honor and in her name in New York City. The TEAK Fellowship was started by Justine Stamen Arrillaga, one of Teak’s best Palisades friends from as far back as elementary school. The TEAK Fellowship is a free NYC based program that helps talented students from low income families achieve their full, academic potential when Teak herself was never given that opportunity with her life cut so tragically short.

All of the feelings of sadness welled up again when I share my losses and Palisades experiences. I couldn’t help but delve into what hurt in the few days that Meiyi was visiting my new Palisades rental. Meiyi is such an angel because she listens attentively and she cares profoundly, two qualities that are going to make her an extraordinarily exceptional educator when she has her own classroom, whether that be virtual or in person. And in the meantime?

She honors my past, she populates my present, and she informs other women’s futures as a teacher of tomorrow and come mid 2026, Meiyi Ren will be a volunteer at The TEAK Fellowship making my Palisades past and present something I can’t wait to behold in a different shape for the future. Thank you Meiyi, thank you Mom for bringing me here, thank you Teak for serving as such an inspiration through the pain of your loss. Past, present, and future merged, I can once again bury what hurt me most…