To Tree or not to Tree…that is the question…
January 7th will mark one year since the most unimaginable agony befell the communities of Pacific Palisades and Altadena. I pray for the people of the latter as selfishly I have been completely consumed like the flames once were with getting my own town up and running as best as possible. One of the ways I have been embracing that objective is literally by forcing myself to embrace the holidays.
Fall and winter are my favorite seasons and, in years past, the celebrations were magical, numerous, and beyond memorable. Thanksgiving was The Olympics for my late mother: A gold medalist in every meet, she outdid herself yearly by what she made, by the growing numbers at her table, and the grace with which she ushered everybody in before celebrating her private personal holiday the day after: First Call at Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills. The early years when we only lived part time in The Palisades were spent at The Schecters Malibu and then Palisades homes and with the uber cool sophisticate, Milicent Siegal, who was actually the daughter of Bugsy. Such a proud and stately woman, she worked at Saks and Tiffany’s in Beverly Hills instead of laying claim to any part of Sin City where we celebrated Christmas. My father as a doctor needed to be in the high desert as the tundra like conditions of the desert in December saw many of his patients ill and need of medical intervention.
I was doing a pretty good job in the years after to spend the holidays with loved ones and friends. My ex husband, as a Brit, was kind enough in our first year of marriage to attempt a UK based bird and I must say I was duly impressed with his turkey presentation, even though Xmas wasn’t high on his list for celebrating. One of my best friends, Katie, always invited so I enjoyed the holidays with her family and sometimes on our own. We had lunch at Marmalade in The Grove two years ago before joining our respective families later in the day and last year made a point of meeting in the morning at Starbucks Palisades since both of us had other commitments. Christmas Eve 2024 was spent at Katie’s so that I could have Xmas with Dad, et al last year. We were trying to remember if it was raining last year when I came over and then both laughed uproariously when we remembered the pictures we had taken when I arrived in a raincoat that I forgot was lost along with the rest of my effects. My brother and his family gave me a bounty of gifts and I went back to my own home briefly on Christmas morning confused by the strength of the winds, but happy to see my friend Gia briefly to give her a present I hoped she would use for her morning tea. Her place is now gone and a memory and even Gia left The Palisades and the country post trauma.
Which brings me to the holiday season 2025 and while it doesn’t feel particularly celebratory in the air between Sunset and Pacific Coast Highway, I am going to make an effort to, at the very least, place to take home the bronze for effort. This commences with The Turkey Trot on streets that are damaged by the weight of the destruction and the endless array of gigantic trucks carrying construction materials. It is tradition and I am not willing to step away because I am still deeply in trauma. My town is hurting profoundly, so this holiday weekend is about nursing the Palisades community while I shelf my own pain for a beat. I already have profound and generous invitations for Hannukah and pre Xmas parties. And this brings me to the consideration that weighs most heavily on my mind. To paraphrase from that Danish prince, Hamlet, which reminds me of the Palisades based Danish disaster who tried to romance me on a lie he wasn’t married when asked repeatedly and he continued the distasteful ruse even after his successful realtor wife lost two homes in the fires…but that nightmare is so pointless much like him one year on from the devastation, so why mention it?…The real and reel question for me remains:
To tree or not to tree?
Do I display a tree this year? I have the Palisades bay window for it, for sure, but do I have the heart for it? I don’t like artificial trees, but I also wouldn’t be able to embrace the anxiety brought on by housing a live tree with lights if there was the slightest chance my holiday celebration could be a fire hazard? What to do about ornaments? I mean, who has the funds to replace the beautiful ones carried from pillar to post for so many of us? And then what about purchasing meaningful gifts? How to ask who is celebrating and who isn’t?
Funnily enough, my darling Katie will be in Washington this year for Thanksgiving, so to keep the tradition going early, we spent the day together the Sunday before the holiday. She gifted me a beautiful green sweatshirt with the word “PALISADES” emblazoned across the front and when we took a stroll on Larchmont, we were stopped by another survivor, who gave us the most meaningful hugs. In the spirit of Xmas, I brought a decorative Christmas birdhouse for my sweet friend and laughing to myself, I purchased a tiny wooden Xmas tree for myself because in inspecting the bottom, it claimed it was made in India much like my beloved mother.
That may end up being all the tree I need this year…The most blessed of holidays for all of the fire survivors in The Palisades and Altadena…May 2026 bring us all the peace we so richly deserve…